ROCK STAR BANANAS FOSTER THAT WILL KNOCK YOUR PANTIES OFF!!!

Artist credits pending

Bananas are quite possibly the perfect fruit, especially for this blog. They are low-calorie, nutrient-rich phallic aphrodisiacs that can also make delicious, sticky lube in a pinch. And if you’re just a bit extra naughty, the peels make fun little whips. No wonder some Indians offer them to fertility gods; Islamic lore suggest it was the forbidden fruit; the red sap is regarded by some Central Americans as an elixir to enhance one’s libido; the list goes on according to Google. In celebration of the widely versatile and revered banana, I present to you the Michael Hutchence of desserts! Second time I’ve referenced male sex-icons; don’t read too much into that.

Because of the showmanship involved, bananas foster is hands-up my favorite, and this is a conglomerate of preparations I’ve had since childhood. The most influential was from a little up-scale restaurant in my hometown, Big Jim’s. The owner was a well-loved, great big Greek dude without a filter or volume control. His establishment was renowned for quality, but he was also a master of presentation - bordering on gaudy. He employed a fellow virtuoso, who would flawlessly enact a table-side demonstration, which would go on to inspire my later performances (I owe you for this one, Wes)

Necessities:

Artist credits pending

• Some damn bananas, of course. Make sure they’re a little on the “greener/firmer side.” 
• Quality vanilla bean ice cream (Don’t skimp. You want a solid ice cream that won’t melt immediately) 
• Light brown sugar, about 1 & ½  cup 
• Butter, about 1/3 stick 
• I use 99 Bananas Liqueur because it's 99 Proof, about ¼ cup 
• I use Bacardi 151 Rum - it kicks it up a notch, about 2 tbsp 
• Cinnamon, about ½ tsp 
• Nutmeg, about ½ tsp 
• Clove, about ¼ tsp 
• Fresh orange zest, about 1 tsp 
• Fresh Mint leaves (garnish, but still important)

This recipe is pretty dangerous, but if you pull it off, then you can . . . pull it off *Giggity*

1. Cut the bananas as you please. I like to cut them in half, then twice length-wise for a total of eight pieces. 
2. Over medium heat, melt the butter 
3. Mix the Cinnamon, Nutmeg and Clove 
4. Add the light brown sugar and orange zest along with the spices, but save a few pinches of the spices for later. 
5. Talk shit and patiently stir until only a small amount of gritty consistency remains, at which time you . . . 
6. Add the bananas and carefully stir them in the mixture, then as they soften . . . . 
7. Dim the lights a bit 
8. Place the liqueur and rum in a cup with a handle or a small sauce pan and carefully light it 
9. Hold flaming concoction over the pan and slowly pour it in from about 3 inches from the bananas and while pouring in the blue flame, raise it up higher but keeping it from splashing out. Catching fire is not sexy, but this makes you look amazing. It’s worth the risk. 
10. While your audience is “wowed” from the flaming bananas foster, sprinkle in the spices that will brilliantly burn in the flames and look really awesome. 
11. When the flames go out, remove from heat and serve over quality vanilla bean ice cream. 
12. Garnish with Mint

  YOU'RE A ROCK STAR!!!

Lifted from his profile pic, Michael Hutchence Facebook page