tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-73644901855734206292024-03-05T02:08:56.707-08:00Recipes That Will Get You LaidChef Bafohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01773949921778269884noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7364490185573420629.post-79027091070526417272011-11-30T21:11:00.001-08:002012-01-11T09:29:28.654-08:00PRIMAL BANG<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTTf6y6pQaHqfQtZ2oGNOh8afRJcGn7y2c7airKYfOstGxLUaXBohE8VIGERuAyqcM2UevvRS7k5HlTPafi88U0JdpgEjFy2fTk-rDNZgIwjmBUXhMZHmJngYw2XZ_Aq-8a3_Lf45Jy3U/s1600/Pasted+Graphic-tiff.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="196" kba="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTTf6y6pQaHqfQtZ2oGNOh8afRJcGn7y2c7airKYfOstGxLUaXBohE8VIGERuAyqcM2UevvRS7k5HlTPafi88U0JdpgEjFy2fTk-rDNZgIwjmBUXhMZHmJngYw2XZ_Aq-8a3_Lf45Jy3U/s320/Pasted+Graphic-tiff.jpg" width="320" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Any time I experience orgasms most mortals wouldn't survive, I habitually take note of what we had for dinner. One recent near death experience followed a millennia-old tradition. I came back from a hunt, with meat. She was ovulating and hormonally optimized. I cooked a rugged and fucktastic meal. Primal urges prevailed.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6kV37lekdgetqs2gbE9c09E0K9AaEdPzJAkdh89XhIBin1fyeC3YmeedDnbBwgQtBMueunXQSBRj356Rb30cWhyjd_eOiT_h_4srGgYwuNj3OryVQaXexqo074tmpM0Gq7qFX24-f1js/s1600/Pasted+Graphic+12-tiff.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" kba="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6kV37lekdgetqs2gbE9c09E0K9AaEdPzJAkdh89XhIBin1fyeC3YmeedDnbBwgQtBMueunXQSBRj356Rb30cWhyjd_eOiT_h_4srGgYwuNj3OryVQaXexqo074tmpM0Gq7qFX24-f1js/s1600/Pasted+Graphic+12-tiff.jpg" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Anthropology of Sex or more specifically, Evolutionary Sex Psychology has always fascinated me. Yes, I may be pulling words out of my ass, but there will always be an echo from our Hunter-Gatherer days emanating from the recesses of our mid-brain, controlling our hormones, and modifying our sexual behaviors. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">For example, I was flipping through a men's mag a few years ago and as I recall, it stated that today's women remain physically attracted to men with strong physical features, particularly a low brow, chiseled facial structure, and of course muscular. I've also perused academic ethnographs on the subject matter supporting this theory, as well. They typically go on to state that while females desire to breed with these super-males, all is not lost; they look for security from another more capable modern partner to have a lasting relationship.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNbD9T_ulJOPXHGLq0tPOrlFNJWW3WMilnz1PR6UZlHSsIc4iU22wLtmEgFNyo06-jfFPG2ExY3WrOAS9vl55yEk_kaDlT5XWHFjg7YyEYbxt9LwHbGfujuHW33hmBJBIzYHifOh1z1bs/s1600/1-Pasted+Graphic+2-tiff.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" kba="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNbD9T_ulJOPXHGLq0tPOrlFNJWW3WMilnz1PR6UZlHSsIc4iU22wLtmEgFNyo06-jfFPG2ExY3WrOAS9vl55yEk_kaDlT5XWHFjg7YyEYbxt9LwHbGfujuHW33hmBJBIzYHifOh1z1bs/s320/1-Pasted+Graphic+2-tiff.jpg" width="320" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">This is where I invite you to tap into those hunter gatherer needs and desires that are so primal, and use them to your advantage. *Go hunt. Kill your own dinner as opposed to relying on an animal farm to process it. Cook it over a flame. Grow hair on your chest (This one's directed more at the guys). Get some cave woman pussy. It's really that simple.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">*A brief note on hunting: Although wild game is a superior, low-fat, high-protein, free-range, antibiotic-free, pesticide-free, organic meat, it can be dangerous to do-it-yourself. Not everyone has the skill or psychological ability to kill an animal. Don't do anything you don't want to do. There's always wild game at Whole Foods, Trader Joe's or any other luxury food mart. I recommend New Zealand venison filet (here, we just call it deer meat).</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The choice cut is the loin filet or psoas muscle, also called "back tenders." It is among the most exquisite and flavorful meat you will ever taste. This is how I do it:</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Several two-inch cubes of venison filet</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">In the refrigerator, soak the filets overnight covered in cider. Pat dry, and marinate with BBQ sauce for at least two hours. Wrap in <em>thin</em> bacon, securing with a tooth pick; <strong>thick</strong> bacon will ooze too much fat and cause flare ups if cooking over coals. Grill until the bacon is crispy and blackened. Serve up some man meat.</span></div>
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<br /></div>Chef Bafohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01773949921778269884noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7364490185573420629.post-12741976616197367122011-11-11T18:52:00.001-08:002011-11-12T15:52:13.663-08:00CHOCOLATE CHIP PANCAKE OVERTURE<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">From Funatiq.com</td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;">So you enjoyed last night's opus and your sexual appetite demands an encore?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Pancakes are a great start and are among the easiest breakfast meals to whip up. The most important thing to remember is to NEVER buy pancake mix! You're better than that. Here's a basic pancake mix from scratch that you can easily have your way with. For example, take out the chocolate and add some bananas, raspberries, or blueberries, etc. Make it your own, ya sexy bitches.</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">From Godiva Manor</td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;">INGREDIENTS:</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">From Godiva Manor</td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;">3/4 cups of cake flour (If you use all-purpose, then sift it about 20 times, but I suggest springing for the good stuff.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">1 1/2 tablespoon of cocoa powder</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">1/2 tablespoon of baking powder</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">1/2 tablespoon of sugar</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">1/2 teaspoon of salt</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">1 1/2 tablespoons of melted butter</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">1/2 cup of milk - If you thought ahead (you confident fuck), buttermilk can sub in at a 1/4 cup, but use a 1/4 cup of milk, too.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">1 egg</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Semi-Sweet chocolate chips to taste</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Simply, whisk together all the dry stuff, except the chocolate chips. Scramble the egg and mix with all the wet ingredients. Blend both to a smooth batter, then add the chips to your liking. Cook over medium heat in a non-stick pan. Don't try to flip them without a spatula unless you've practiced to a 100% success rate. Dropping your pancake on a burner is not sexy.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">To "kick it up a notch," make whipped cream by whipping 1 cup of heavy cream, 1 teaspoon of vanilla and 2 tablespoons of sugar. You can add a few ounces of softened cream cheese, if you like. </span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkFlK7DqLTAXkuliOoF0SSdvEYC-AAg34iLJDcvBF7g3w_XZBmdzDgQGiiW57TcTy3OPOm2NUZgx1PsFbYRBd9GUkooL595SZY8-0iF5pzYQZQWFlH10EQh8bKaKCEn64kMCM2EwuU3B0/s1600/320663_274287985926215_249871538367860_967472_132270160_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="129" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkFlK7DqLTAXkuliOoF0SSdvEYC-AAg34iLJDcvBF7g3w_XZBmdzDgQGiiW57TcTy3OPOm2NUZgx1PsFbYRBd9GUkooL595SZY8-0iF5pzYQZQWFlH10EQh8bKaKCEn64kMCM2EwuU3B0/s200/320663_274287985926215_249871538367860_967472_132270160_n.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">From Godiva Manor</td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Serve the pancakes with whipped cream, and sprinkle with more chocolate chips. For extra fuck-points, dust with confectioner's sugar to garnish.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">These are so tasty, you can even forgo the syrup. If you do use it, I recommend Oh Boy . . . . Oh God! Oh God! Yes!! YESSS!!</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg53QyM4C0WYo4vZc1-pQDpms7a4Vng-FenjzEpU5VKnLbU0ngM4lS9qpJEjilhfCbuuCGP1JsB9W18QJVoF6eN5U1sjz-qRjqNDUndhgpFUPe3LGgH6Dq4Yu3_I15sqGGiob5JsABJZfY/s1600/tumblr_ls0w0pJrAn1qz6i6mo1_500.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg53QyM4C0WYo4vZc1-pQDpms7a4Vng-FenjzEpU5VKnLbU0ngM4lS9qpJEjilhfCbuuCGP1JsB9W18QJVoF6eN5U1sjz-qRjqNDUndhgpFUPe3LGgH6Dq4Yu3_I15sqGGiob5JsABJZfY/s320/tumblr_ls0w0pJrAn1qz6i6mo1_500.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">From the Rabbit of Seville</td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Which brings me to my final point . . . Gioachino Rossini: The Barber of Seville. The overture will mask the screams of joy, and it goes nicely with chocolate chip pancakes. </span></div>Chef Bafohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01773949921778269884noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7364490185573420629.post-55017880752500567692011-10-26T08:08:00.000-07:002011-10-26T20:13:34.422-07:00AWARD–WINNING, GHIRADELLI–CHOCOLATE, MAKER’S MARK–BOURBON, PECAN PIE WITH SALTED CARAMEL & WHIPPED CREAM<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0Cx-HbifLkO6Utzov2_MGIVgrTsfzRSrZ6Ugr-iqb7Q5dmtDpidCCk4SI3cmuc7LBeM7aMOwb6UxQK-G6LJ-QxBlq6FAFF_0DEp5VHEllJO030sENtwQG_pq8Nc9duhB8JqVoWxbnUOE/s1600/BadGrannyS.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0Cx-HbifLkO6Utzov2_MGIVgrTsfzRSrZ6Ugr-iqb7Q5dmtDpidCCk4SI3cmuc7LBeM7aMOwb6UxQK-G6LJ-QxBlq6FAFF_0DEp5VHEllJO030sENtwQG_pq8Nc9duhB8JqVoWxbnUOE/s400/BadGrannyS.JPG" width="255" /></a> <span style="font-size: large;"> I just won a prestigious pie baking contest with this one! It was quite amusing. I was lined up along side a bunch of elderly women, and my pecans spanked their apples! Here, food is everything, and it was judged by actual pastry chefs disciplined in the culinary arts. (In case it's not clear, I'm very proud, right now)</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> This <i>is </i>a dangerous pie. Wrap your lips around it at your own risk. I recently
informed a very good friend, Iva, that it's quite possibly the worst thing for
one’s health, which can be placed in one’s mouth besides a crack pipe. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-size: large;"> I often indulge, and other times, I fast. One seems to amplify the positive
effects of the other. Of course I’m not going to drivel on about fasting. This
blog entry is devoted to fearless decadence. Among the list of unhealthy
ingredients are copious dairy fats, simple sugars, salt, and even bourbon whiskey! Furthermore, it can be acutely dangerous if you’re unfortunate enough
to be allergic to nuts – it may then kill you. But at least you’d die with some
pretty fucking awesome southern gourmet in your sexy, edematous gullet.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So it is dangerous, but is it sexy? There’s quality
chocolate, alcohol and nuts. Someone may get hurt (or even pregnant).</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiSzNvaN2_WJ7exd4FEUmuJlJ6FX72PJbjDLCac2etbya3cgVlK-PQ60z-jqjaO67xTspPmX0tyoCp3bgNx_kmXVrSnyR6jraAF_owYKIxqsaWL0h8QdUzszeaNuPXaKL8f278DqgoDcI/s1600/PecanHeart_E2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiSzNvaN2_WJ7exd4FEUmuJlJ6FX72PJbjDLCac2etbya3cgVlK-PQ60z-jqjaO67xTspPmX0tyoCp3bgNx_kmXVrSnyR6jraAF_owYKIxqsaWL0h8QdUzszeaNuPXaKL8f278DqgoDcI/s320/PecanHeart_E2.jpg" width="240" /></a><b>START WITH THE FLAKY CRUST:</b></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">2 ½ cups cake flour sifted twice<br />
1 tablespoon sugar<br />
1 teaspoon salt<br />
2 sticks of very cold unsalted butter (or one large block of Plugra)</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> Whisk flour, sugar and salt. Cut the VERY cold, unsalted
butter into small cubes and sprinkle over the flour while working them in with
a pastry blender. A Kitchen Aid quality mixer makes this process easy. Stop when
the butter pieces are the size of tiny peas/pellets. Very slowly, add about a
half-cup of ice-cold water and knead the dough. Form a disc and wrap in
plastic, then chill in the fridge for a few hours before rolling it out and
lining your pan. Keep refrigerated until ready to bake.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">*It’s important to keep every thing as cold as possible in
order to not let the butter melt. This makes for a very flaky crust when the
pockets of butter do melt. I actually chill the dry ingredients and place the
mixing bowl in the freezer for a few minutes. Another secret ingredient to be
used sparingly if you need more moisture is freezer-cold vodka. It has neither
aroma nor taste, and the alcohol will evaporate when baking.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>FILLING:<span style="color: windowtext;"></span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">5 tablespoons unsalted butter (prefer Plugra)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">1 cup packed light brown
sugar </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">3 tablespoons of quality Bourbon such as Maker’s Mark </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">¾ cup light corn
syrup </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">1 ½ teaspoons <b>flaky</b>
gourmet sea salt </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">2 cups chopped, <i>lightly</i>
toasted pecans </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">4 ounces of Ghirardelli semi-sweet chocolate chips</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">3 eggs, lightly beaten (save a small amount of egg white)</span></div>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> In a medium saucepan, add corn syrup, butter, sugar and salt. Bring to a
boil then cool to room temperature. Whisk in eggs and vanilla; then stir in the
chocolate and pecans. Brush the pie crust with egg whites, then pour the
mixture into the pie pan and bake at 350 for 45-55 minutes. Tent the edges
loosely with foil to keep from browning too quickly. I take the foil off and
brush the crust edges with a small amount of olive oil so that it browns
perfectly for the last 10 minutes.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDEKtQlhdGCmaT6o05djuFHvFt6l3jKfpGKYqJNyOoK3cizCRyfhadv5Iv7OFRB2N8pe09UXeo-swkPxLzZsBVw6d-JFooRK2TfZlMePz4hG1sshUhTVht-J-Ter2PwbmBscdLx39sWCY/s1600/0a9c9a40bf2f61070b90fe04bd3adf45.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="299" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDEKtQlhdGCmaT6o05djuFHvFt6l3jKfpGKYqJNyOoK3cizCRyfhadv5Iv7OFRB2N8pe09UXeo-swkPxLzZsBVw6d-JFooRK2TfZlMePz4hG1sshUhTVht-J-Ter2PwbmBscdLx39sWCY/s320/0a9c9a40bf2f61070b90fe04bd3adf45.png" width="320" /></a><b>SALTED CARAMEL AND WHIPPED CREAM TOPPING:</b><span style="color: windowtext;"></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Caramel: </b>Add one cup of sugar and a ¼ cup of water in a
small saucepan and dissolve the sugar bringing to a boil. As it darkens, remove
from heat and whisk in ¾ cup of heavy cream. Stir in 3 ½ tablespoons of
unsalted butter and one teaspoon of salt. Allow the sauce to cool.</span></div>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Cream:</b> Whip one pint of cream, one tbsp of confectioner’s sugar, ½ tsp of
vanilla extract, and one ounce of softened cream cheese to soft peaks.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-size: large;">Serve dollops of cream with the pie and drizzle with salted caramel
garnished with a pinch of flaky sea-salt.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>
</i></span><span style="font-size: large;"><i>Creative/gifted minds will discover additional uses for whipped cream and
caramel.</i></span>Chef Bafohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01773949921778269884noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7364490185573420629.post-36312663097339616942011-10-03T21:05:00.000-07:002011-10-03T21:20:01.771-07:00One Tough Cookie (the girl actually)<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #e69138;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Guys & Gals,</span></span><br />
</div><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #e69138;"> </span></span><br />
<div style="color: #e69138;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">If ever you needed a muse, I encourage you to support your nearest roller derby league, especially if you’re fond of hot, female aggression in thigh-high fishnets and miniskirts.</span> </span></div><div style="color: #e69138;"><br />
</div><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_22762536" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="177" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJpL5M9j0c2BtT4xGvs7mn_VFjuSrA2LhLR9tOZYWGyNgCOhp9Xo7ObIeCwjWVPHL6yCXeXGegXV8PBKcwBrnJ2qgwx4MDnAkTcllxwaHUtaVNYQAz0p7sDLVWB8LSada1J8NarmwriUM/s200/vinEW.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.lowcountryhighrollers.com/">Vinyl Wrecker By Shutterpunk</a></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.lowcountryhighrollers.com/"><br />
</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #e69138;"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgap-Bn9bTrYciZ2be4a4Tbd5isc8kGFabtJZVcxKkC8qzM6ZF49aObxOO5gmUCaXE5qoBSBiuWb063t4W2OurgHX8ZEv_m0HXE8okqmExRZq824IdSs1M9krCj5PAggSLrfjXU41z21a4/s1600/MMMM.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgap-Bn9bTrYciZ2be4a4Tbd5isc8kGFabtJZVcxKkC8qzM6ZF49aObxOO5gmUCaXE5qoBSBiuWb063t4W2OurgHX8ZEv_m0HXE8okqmExRZq824IdSs1M9krCj5PAggSLrfjXU41z21a4/s200/MMMM.jpg" width="160" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial;">I’ve always had a "hard spot" for these tattooed vixens on wheels. Sometimes when watching a bout I might ponder: <i>If I weren’t married and oversexed, then my fem-dom fantasies <b>might</b> have a chance to manifest.</i> I have had the pleasure, however, of getting to know a very special roller girl who once shared her mighty fine cookies. These spicy little treats remind me of her. They have moxie - a necessity among derby chicks. These amazons who can work the hell out of a pair of booty shorts also happen to be really out-going, amazing women, inspiring those less sexy.</span></span><br />
</div><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #e69138;"> </span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #e69138;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Here’s how it all breaks down:</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">¾ cup of melted butter</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #e69138;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">1 cup of sugar</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">¼ cup of molasses</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">1 large egg</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">2 cups of cake flour (all-purpose is fine, too)</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">2 teaspoons of baking soda</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">½ teaspoon ground cloves</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">½ teaspoon ground ginger</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">¼ teaspoon ground nutmeg</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">1 teaspoon ground cinnamon</span></span><br />
</div><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #e69138;"> </span></span><br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfzMuoCF1xWo27YGM0wIdNsCCtH9dXwW8Ps_W7yzEMP1gXYkqJdCqgyiS0s1_jD6uRkCfDXXN1IgYKnY1-Dvx29BjFzslu3LaZiC2GG7e0SjWOvxp-HDFW_Sp7hgKBDb7Yx4sWh3Js-OA/s1600/BLOOD.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfzMuoCF1xWo27YGM0wIdNsCCtH9dXwW8Ps_W7yzEMP1gXYkqJdCqgyiS0s1_jD6uRkCfDXXN1IgYKnY1-Dvx29BjFzslu3LaZiC2GG7e0SjWOvxp-HDFW_Sp7hgKBDb7Yx4sWh3Js-OA/s400/BLOOD.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.windycityrollers.com/">www.windycityrollers.com</a></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #e69138;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">1) In a large bowl, add all the dry ingredients [flour, sugar, baking soda, and spices] and mix evenly.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">2) Stir in the wet stuff [butter, egg, and molasses] then beat the fucker thoroughly!!</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #e69138;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">3) Refrigerate about 10 minutes to firm the dough</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #e69138;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">4) Preheat the oven to 375</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #e69138;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">5) Pinch off about a testicle-sized ball of dough and pound it into a small patty with your fist. You can roll it with a pin, but that’s no fun!</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #e69138;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">6) Arrange them on a cookie sheet with plenty of space because they get HUGE. (Foil or parchment paper on the sheet means less messy clean up)</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #e69138;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">7) Smile and sprinkle sugar on top but don’t apologize for the abuse.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">8) Cook about 8 min . . . more for crispy</span></span><br />
<br />
</div><div class="" style="clear: both; color: #e69138; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"> <span style="font-family: Arial;">You will make about six cookies at a time, which is really great because as you open and shut the oven, the whole house will fill with this spicy aroma that smells like Halloween, Thanksgiving, AND Christmas. The “sugar n’spice” taste of these cookies inspires your “everything not-so nice”, sexy side. Just like those hellcats on the track.</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.joerollerfan.com/" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAvi7TF9TVFmpY-fas9bXhOMttvraqDJMupbnFWdIri7fEGmkrSRkdF1TBnyNB_0hrQ5RkmOTfRTeuMJqlpqT0uCL0Upb_6iP-qDQumqdZgL-a_Q3k5xdS9v-s_S70uV2pDgPMMDhMEjo/s200/BOOTIE.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://joerollerfan.com/">Joerollerfan.com</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDnUFfEhWGg2Gz1BHzH_8sBqGXKMhCKdy6ryz1Fah51XaGjs5bw1TpjHlTxl_O9rps_jd1YIABM3Yeu4aWr1trln_SRGTAe0RoDN_1AAVycSTEhHe73NcYomz1R1O36SAzoOoJZ-Qm3m8/s1600/WHIPIT.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDnUFfEhWGg2Gz1BHzH_8sBqGXKMhCKdy6ryz1Fah51XaGjs5bw1TpjHlTxl_O9rps_jd1YIABM3Yeu4aWr1trln_SRGTAe0RoDN_1AAVycSTEhHe73NcYomz1R1O36SAzoOoJZ-Qm3m8/s320/WHIPIT.jpg" width="320" /></a>Chef Bafohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01773949921778269884noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7364490185573420629.post-31897942399688351582011-08-28T23:54:00.000-07:002011-08-28T23:54:09.285-07:00Passionate Pesto: Great for dinner parties and orgies, alike!!<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:DoNotOptimizeForBrowser/> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal">If you’re going to “Go Roman,” why not indulge in Italian, Ci?</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">This pesto recipe is potent yet simple; the only thing that distinguishes it is the quality of its ingredients. For example, I never prepare this dish without fresh basil from my own herb garden. It has never failed me. You will continue to be wildly successful.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:DoNotOptimizeForBrowser/> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--> </div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtcm7TtLMra7RJ-0AYm0mH_5oackHQIi99MKA13XDq1iGG4AjoPNGWu89mQG3ie66R5qR-y3Eo3cIk89BRB_HHrOOPaFtPila55HSdKHkvzW3JbW_7Jpr3CKFAoYANay4BD1Y0Df4O3xk/s1600/come-on-over-orgy-men-women-sex-humor-funny-demotivational-poster-1225724912.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtcm7TtLMra7RJ-0AYm0mH_5oackHQIi99MKA13XDq1iGG4AjoPNGWu89mQG3ie66R5qR-y3Eo3cIk89BRB_HHrOOPaFtPila55HSdKHkvzW3JbW_7Jpr3CKFAoYANay4BD1Y0Df4O3xk/s320/come-on-over-orgy-men-women-sex-humor-funny-demotivational-poster-1225724912.jpg" width="320" /></a>Necessities in approximate measures:</b></div><ol><li>Salt, ~¼ tsp.</li>
<li>Fresh Basil, ~1 cup of loosely packed leaves.</li>
<li>Garlic, 1 peeled clove to press.</li>
<li>Pine Nuts. You may substitute peeled almonds, but toasting will be a little different.</li>
<li>A finger of Parmesan cheese. Of course it will be processed, but a freshly grated block has more <i><b>umph</b> </i>–<i> the way you like it.</i></li>
<li>Extra Virgin Olive Oil. I’ve found Kirkland’s EVOO to be superior to some really pricey imports.</li>
<li>Medium-sized rock shrimp is highly recommended, but you can use just about any shellfish or poultry in pesto. Make sure they are peeled and de-veined as shrimp shit is not sexy.</li>
<li>Cherry tomatoes, sliced.</li>
<li>Goat Cheese. You may substitute Feta for the less adventurous.</li>
<li>Pasta. Linguini is preferable. It’s slurpable, messy and fun!</li>
</ol><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:DoNotOptimizeForBrowser/> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal">First, start readying the pasta like your mamma taught you. Along with minimal salt, I add a few dashes of EVOO to the water so the linguini doesn’t stick.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Now, the most challenging part is toasting the pine nuts. I’ve found that it works best with a toaster oven. I admit it took a lot of trial and error until realizing that one must sacrifice a few that are especially quick to blacken. Be sure to explain this so no one loses confidence when they smell burning pine nuts. Spread about two heaping tablespoons on the toaster tray. Have the glove ready – you don’t want to go searching for it when you need it! Toast and <u>watch constantly.</u> Allow a few to blacken while most turn golden, then immediately transfer to a dish so they stop cooking. Toss out the burnt ones, and place the rest in the food processor.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Grate about a tablespoon of Parmesan and press one clove of garlic into the processor. Feel free to use more but it will void my guarantee.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Pour in enough EVOO to cover everything and hit the processor a few times.</div><div class="MsoNormal">Add the basil and process until you have a nice and thin slurry.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">By this time you should have placed your pasta in the boiling water and it’s nearly ready. It’s important to aim for a randy al dente consistency to subliminally state your purpose.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Shrimp will cook super fast over medium high heat in melted butter with salt & fresh ground pepper to taste and a generous squeeze of lemon juice.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Toss the cooked shrimp and linguini with the pesto.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Serve with sliced cherry tomatoes arranged on top. Offer freshly grated Parmesan just like Olive Garden, which your date is certainly very thankful not to be going to. I then allow the goat or feta cheese to my guest(s) discretion.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>Accompaniments:</b></div><div class="MsoNormal">My wine suggestion would be an Arneis variety, which is a little known Italian white known to be light and easy to drink. It goes very well with summer fare.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">A quality baguette with<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>EVOO, balsamic vinegar, and freshly grated Parmesan and ground pepper for dipping is a must.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2LyOuEV4WPs1Olcj5tlw8pR8gFspjxebezlyfU6txzSsQBXfNEsa9tu51JDVE6JqXkn6lmRDb8Ai-sY3PADKkssXPvvochguJ2O2xoz5V1HyLofgi9Q2xEazuGIP2QI9MzdHpBASYDok/s1600/dog+Venus+with+dog+and+organist+tiziano+vecellio.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="194" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2LyOuEV4WPs1Olcj5tlw8pR8gFspjxebezlyfU6txzSsQBXfNEsa9tu51JDVE6JqXkn6lmRDb8Ai-sY3PADKkssXPvvochguJ2O2xoz5V1HyLofgi9Q2xEazuGIP2QI9MzdHpBASYDok/s320/dog+Venus+with+dog+and+organist+tiziano+vecellio.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Venus and Organist and a Little Dog - Tiziano Vecellio</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal">Finally, if he/she’s a keeper, deploy Mozart and Da Ponte’s collaborative effort, The Marriage of Figero, otherwise, may as well turn on Bolero – it’s like lubricant! </div><br />
Chef Bafohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01773949921778269884noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7364490185573420629.post-16306851404967063112011-07-18T20:31:00.000-07:002011-07-18T20:31:50.922-07:00ROCK STAR BANANAS FOSTER THAT WILL KNOCK YOUR PANTIES OFF!!!<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:DoNotOptimizeForBrowser/> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--> <br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuTqyhwNYWrRlxOAhvzavLIesEx-Lnb3qjCkA79X2ktanVLrY5LJ4DZcQoc_tA8tSAgChf6kbxnhs_awauPCqFU1-bUjL_AriC9dzUQXLXdHxvtu9mCKeJq38j11VDOCEGsyE_I5LJVwE/s1600/bana.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuTqyhwNYWrRlxOAhvzavLIesEx-Lnb3qjCkA79X2ktanVLrY5LJ4DZcQoc_tA8tSAgChf6kbxnhs_awauPCqFU1-bUjL_AriC9dzUQXLXdHxvtu9mCKeJq38j11VDOCEGsyE_I5LJVwE/s1600/bana.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Artist credits pending</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 18.0pt;">Bananas are quite possibly the perfect fruit, especially for this blog. They are low-calorie, nutrient-rich phallic aphrodisiacs that can also make delicious, sticky lube in a pinch. And if you’re just a bit extra naughty, the peels make fun little whips. No wonder some Indians offer them to fertility gods; Islamic lore suggest it was the forbidden fruit; the red sap is regarded by some Central Americans as an elixir to enhance one’s libido; the list goes on according to Google. In celebration of the widely versatile and revered banana, I present to you the Michael Hutchence of desserts! <i>Second time I’ve referenced male sex-icons; don’t read too much into that.</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"> </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 18.0pt;">Because of the showmanship involved, bananas foster is hands-up my favorite, and this is a conglomerate of preparations I’ve had since childhood. The most influential was from a little up-scale restaurant in my hometown, Big Jim’s. The owner was a well-loved, great big Greek dude without a filter or volume control. His establishment was renowned for quality, but he was also a master of presentation - bordering on gaudy. He employed a fellow virtuoso, who would flawlessly enact a table-side demonstration, which would go on to inspire my later performances (I owe you for this one, Wes)</span></div><br />
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:DoNotOptimizeForBrowser/> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 18.0pt;">Necessities:</span></div><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7Gu1su7LXnsFMdHXfyh_VMhsTiqTFCVeBjpEyKtsHHXDLL89ZTUxMHXBeEeIrmdaZOA564nqIbGLrZjIBEYPx8dCvlp8QDV9Xyb84di6_7Sak8sISbrob6T5LmXCPBOJfnt4r-HzKs4s/s1600/bananflash.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7Gu1su7LXnsFMdHXfyh_VMhsTiqTFCVeBjpEyKtsHHXDLL89ZTUxMHXBeEeIrmdaZOA564nqIbGLrZjIBEYPx8dCvlp8QDV9Xyb84di6_7Sak8sISbrob6T5LmXCPBOJfnt4r-HzKs4s/s1600/bananflash.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Artist credits pending</td></tr>
</tbody></table><ul type="disc"><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l9 level1 lfo10; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 18.0pt;">Some damn bananas, of course. Make sure they’re a little on the “greener/firmer side.” </span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l9 level1 lfo10; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 18.0pt;">Quality vanilla bean ice cream (Don’t skimp. You want a solid ice cream that won’t melt immediately) </span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l9 level1 lfo10; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 18.0pt;">Light brown sugar, about 1 & ½ cup </span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l9 level1 lfo10; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 18.0pt;">Butter, about 1/3 stick<i> </i></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l9 level1 lfo10; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;"><i><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 18.0pt;">I use</span></i><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 18.0pt;"> 99 Bananas Liqueur because it's 99 Proof, about ¼ cup<i> </i></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l9 level1 lfo10; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;"><i><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 18.0pt;">I use</span></i><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 18.0pt;"> Bacardi 151 Rum - it kicks it up a notch, about 2 tbsp </span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l9 level1 lfo10; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 18.0pt;">Cinnamon, about ½ tsp </span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l9 level1 lfo10; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 18.0pt;">Nutmeg, about ½ tsp </span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l9 level1 lfo10; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 18.0pt;">Clove, about ¼ tsp </span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l9 level1 lfo10; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 18.0pt;">Fresh orange zest, about 1 tsp </span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l9 level1 lfo10; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 18.0pt;">Fresh Mint leaves (garnish, but still important)</span></li>
</ul><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 18.0pt;">This recipe is pretty dangerous, but if you pull it off, then you can . . . pull it off *Giggity*</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><ol start="1" type="1"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmhoFKHAUQwymPZaC63OtFMG83598OhwR_yRvvmiOsHEMOVm2D2jDtaFj1dg35VuHLzNqbfRAycREzAGSorMhKQPZvjjzQX_yGs6YRs47x3AfehW7ci-bgW2-Gbhg3M_urtB7EKoFE0bU/s1600/banana.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmhoFKHAUQwymPZaC63OtFMG83598OhwR_yRvvmiOsHEMOVm2D2jDtaFj1dg35VuHLzNqbfRAycREzAGSorMhKQPZvjjzQX_yGs6YRs47x3AfehW7ci-bgW2-Gbhg3M_urtB7EKoFE0bU/s320/banana.jpg" width="238" /></a>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l10 level1 lfo11; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 18.0pt;">Cut the bananas as you please. I like to cut them in half, then twice length-wise for a total of eight pieces. </span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l10 level1 lfo11; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 18.0pt;">Over medium heat, melt the butter </span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l10 level1 lfo11; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 18.0pt;">Mix the Cinnamon, Nutmeg and Clove </span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l10 level1 lfo11; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 18.0pt;">Add the light brown sugar and orange zest along with the spices, but save a few pinches of the spices for later. </span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l10 level1 lfo11; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 18.0pt;">Talk shit and patiently stir until only a small amount of gritty consistency remains, at which time you . . . </span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l10 level1 lfo11; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 18.0pt;">Add the bananas and carefully stir them in the mixture, then as they soften . . . . </span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l10 level1 lfo11; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 18.0pt;">Dim the lights a bit </span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l10 level1 lfo11; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 18.0pt;">Place the liqueur and rum in a cup with a handle or a small sauce pan and carefully light it </span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l10 level1 lfo11; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 18.0pt;">Hold flaming concoction over the pan and slowly pour it in from about 3 inches from the bananas and while pouring in the blue flame, raise it up higher but keeping it from splashing out. Catching fire is not sexy, but this makes you look amazing. It’s worth the risk. </span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l10 level1 lfo11; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 18.0pt;">While your audience is “wowed” from the flaming bananas foster, sprinkle in the spices that will brilliantly burn in the flames and look really awesome. </span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l10 level1 lfo11; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 18.0pt;">When the flames go out, remove from heat and serve over quality vanilla bean ice cream. </span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l10 level1 lfo11; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 18.0pt;">Garnish with Mint</span></li>
</ol><span style="font-size: 18.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 18.0pt;">YOU'RE A ROCK STAR!!!</span><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifG2Vp8FAmzLljK88aRAKBFEnqiCRqu5cDqA5u5p8XJRKsLtJS-5QOVQ-d4wf03GCq9KTf43aPRF3jJo0g3Iys4FtMR641sRZp3h_69-uY7d2iyJ2kwBFw6mm2SF0Uyef8BN47I7c9upA/s1600/hutchence.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifG2Vp8FAmzLljK88aRAKBFEnqiCRqu5cDqA5u5p8XJRKsLtJS-5QOVQ-d4wf03GCq9KTf43aPRF3jJo0g3Iys4FtMR641sRZp3h_69-uY7d2iyJ2kwBFw6mm2SF0Uyef8BN47I7c9upA/s1600/hutchence.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lifted from his profile pic, Michael Hutchence Facebook page</td></tr>
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</div>Chef Bafohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01773949921778269884noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7364490185573420629.post-13378705471947142482011-07-12T00:23:00.000-07:002011-07-12T00:37:37.872-07:00Leonard Cohen<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">Here’s a quickie to start out easy, but don't underestimate its potency.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFMI2e1hk6EwJqWxTlJ9sBTWSPBEevQu9p8GSjWEsmOZfskPAELm7yu8pA_crhEoLesKEorcxlXmEg3DM8pWomoKysVEVJRTEYQytHVYdtmxkmaw1tpYn7bizBNu2PxyC0nKNC3Nxlrb8/s1600/LC.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFMI2e1hk6EwJqWxTlJ9sBTWSPBEevQu9p8GSjWEsmOZfskPAELm7yu8pA_crhEoLesKEorcxlXmEg3DM8pWomoKysVEVJRTEYQytHVYdtmxkmaw1tpYn7bizBNu2PxyC0nKNC3Nxlrb8/s200/LC.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lifted from www.artistdirect.com</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">Named after one of my idols whose discography I own nearly all on vinyl, I call it the “Leonard Cohen” without his permission. <i>I did ask on his Facebook page but Leonard Cohen hasn’t answered yet – but I hear him calling all night long (Tower of Song reference).</i> I figure he would be honored as Mr. Cohen is a dangerously seductive, French-Canadian, Poet-King of Music. (And speaking of the King, you know Elvis had a thing for fried PBJs; however, they did not serve him well, RIP)</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">As with any of these recipes, <i>mood</i><i> is key</i>. The atmosphere demands perfect lighting and sound. I suggest Maître Cohen’s Dance Me to the End of Love, I’m your Man, Closing Time, etc . . If you have none, stop being a Philistine and go get some! It may be all you really need. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><u>Necessities:</u> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">Fresh Croissants (French)</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">Nutella (Canadian)</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">Peanut butter</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">Banana</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">Jam <i>I like grape. She prefers raspberry. We compromise and use raspberry . . means-to-an-end, ya'll</i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">Extra Virgin (LOL) Olive Oil mister <i>Only if it’s available to you!</i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">Let's get to it - this can get messy, but that can also be a good thing!</div><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><br />
<ol style="font-family: inherit;"><li>Lights, music, sexy eyes (requires practice in front of a mirror) </li>
<li>Cut the moist, fresh croissants in long halves, but not all the way. They should be slightly attached and somewhat suggestive *wink* </li>
<li>Ever so lightly, spray the croissant inside and out with EVOO. DO NOT USE A BRUSH – you’ll put too much on and fuck it up. The EVOO just makes it nice and crisp; you don’t want it greasy . . . yet. </li>
<li>Open-faced, toast the croissants to a light brown in a pre-heated oven at 350 degrees. </li>
<li>Spread Canada’s gift to the world on one side </li>
<li>Spread George Washington Carver’s gift on the other </li>
<li>Spoon on some jam </li>
<li>Finally, arrange very thinly sliced bananas in the introitus</li>
</ol><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">Now, say something funny, make her laugh, use protection, and if you’re adventurous maybe a little Nutella, jam and GO BANANAS!!</span>Chef Bafohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01773949921778269884noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7364490185573420629.post-46170961776363031302011-07-11T23:48:00.000-07:002011-07-12T11:08:44.388-07:00Who am I and what authority do I have to blog about sex and the culinary arts?<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #e69138;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow";">It’s no secret that I’m fond of food and company. I’d much rather go hungry than to not share my meal. As the social element of dining is crucial for me, the pinnacle of social interaction, <i>love-making,</i> is only a natural accompaniment, thus the tongue-in-cheek title. </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #e69138;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #e69138;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow";">Who am I and what authority do I have to blog about this? I am no one special, and I have no authority. I am an early 30-something family guy who practices high-stakes medicine and researches cancer in the field of pharmacogenomics. I live in a southern US coastal city and prefer dogs to cats. I’ve never seriously considered myself a chef but enjoy preparing food. I won’t pretend to approximate the skill of professionals. Indeed, I have “taken liberties” with their work. These are simply a collection of very memorable experiences that were modified to my taste and expectations – not necessarily better but changed to my liking.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #e69138;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #e69138;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow";">Will these combinations of ingredients get you laid? Each of them has worked for me. Also, it’s statistically/biologically plausible. Fellas, women are particularly sensitive to smell, taste, texture, and presentation of food. A satisfying meal causes release of dopamine (brain’s happy chemical) associated with reward (<b>orgasm</b>). Chocolate is especially potent. Ladies, you’ve got to be kidding – just warm up some leftovers if it makes you feel better. All you really need to do is show some cleavage; we’ll do the rest. Although our behaviors are very different, the dopamine hypothesis does apply to guys, as well. Furthermore, if you shunt blood away from the periphery to digest food, then more blood is available for autonomic functions (part of the nervous associated with getting it on) especially augmenting male preparedness for “being social.”</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #e69138;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #e69138;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow";">But will you get lucky? To really answer that question: your partner is most appreciative of the effort that you put into carefully preparing a meal or treats for his/her enjoyment. It’s even better if you both can participate in the process as it is a marvelous way to get to know one another. This should be reserved for simpler recipes like the first to be posted. Speaking from experience, my wife and I had self-inflicted the “lasagna test” which questioned our overall compatibility as a couple. If the two of you can make complex lasagna from scratch, then you should probably marry.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #e69138;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial Narrow";"><span style="color: #e69138;">I hope you enjoy this blog and find it useful.</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial Narrow";"><span style="color: #e69138;"> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial Narrow";"><span style="color: #e69138;">Cheers,</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial Narrow";"><span style="color: #e69138;">Chef Bafo!</span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFpIPVzWiZXbhYiffCqAen_XQipsm1LSomEjjBM_116uyc3FOoXxZ_146kyws3RPs1Z63WLSb3nAH90tXetaafhTCU8QJRVR1dm59J2qfFqRsLNXqYwuelraK97JNM7mudo6FzDsAZo38/s1600/New+Image.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFpIPVzWiZXbhYiffCqAen_XQipsm1LSomEjjBM_116uyc3FOoXxZ_146kyws3RPs1Z63WLSb3nAH90tXetaafhTCU8QJRVR1dm59J2qfFqRsLNXqYwuelraK97JNM7mudo6FzDsAZo38/s320/New+Image.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial Narrow";"><span style="color: #e69138;"> </span></span></div>Chef Bafohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01773949921778269884noreply@blogger.com4